


I Wish I Hated You

by princessz



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Canon Universe, Childhood Memories, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22202080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessz/pseuds/princessz
Summary: “Catra do you think...” - Adora wasn’t looking at her anymore. “Do you think we love each other?”Catra and Adora were really close as kids. More than anyone else in the Horde. And even now, after the battle, after Horde Prime, after everything, they still - are trying - to be.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 152





	I Wish I Hated You

— Fright Zone —

It was late at night, and 12 years old Adora couldn’t sleep. She capped remembering what happened that day, with Shadow Weaver and Catra.

Their disagreements were nothing new. They have it since Catra started to grow up, but they ended up getting even worse with time, and Adora hated it. She hated how her best friend was being treated. She hated the fact that she couldn’t help. She hated hearing Catra crying in the night and not do anything.

Catra was not crying this time, but Adora wanted to make sure everything was okay with her. 

She climbed the stairs up to Catra’s bunk, trying to be quiet so she didn’t awake the other cadets.

“Hey, Catra?” - She said in a really low voice, giving a little squeeze on Catra’s arm.

She felt Catra moving, so she could stare her.

“What?” - Catra whispered.

“Were you already awake?” - Adora replied in a soft tone, trying to get into Catra’s bed now.

Catra took some seconds to respond, she was staring at Adora, to every move she was making. 

“I was thinking” - Catra said, now face to face with Adora, but not looking into her eyes.

“About?” - Adora took a lock of Catra’s hair and put it behind her ear. 

They were used with this kind of proximity, they always had it. But they also always felt that they could do something _more_ , to get closer, but never care to find out what that “more” was.

Catra knew that what she felt for Adora, was far from being what she felt for any other person. Every time Adora was this close, she felt like her chest could explode. She presumed it is because she’s her best friend. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it” - Catra says, taking one of Adora’s hand and intertwining their fingers.

Adora didn’t understand it. She didn’t like it. But she always respected Catra’s choice on when to talk or not.

“Okay.”

Adora moved her head till the point where Catra’s mouth was touching her forehead. And they slept like this. Calm and warm.

—

Now, a 15 years old Adora was waiting for her best friend to come back from a mission she was assigned for. Well, it was just kind of a mission, because they were too young yet. But at this one, a cadet allowed Catra to go with them, because she kept insisting.

When she arrived, she found Adora talking with Loonie and Kyle, and went straight to them.

“Hey, I didn’t see you, how was the mission?” 

Adora said putting a hand on Catra’s shoulder.

“That? That wasn’t a mission, c’mon Adora” 

Loonie laughed, pointing a finger at Catra, who seemed really, really pissed.

Catra didn’t answer. She didn’t do anything. 

Instead of it, she looked at Adora’s eyes, hoping she would get them out of there. Because right now, she didn’t wanna a fight.

Adora got the message. She hold Catra’s hand and took her far from there, to an empty hallway.

“You good?” - She said in front of Catra, with worried eyes.

“I am...” - Catra stared at the floor. “I wanted to tell you about the mission... I probably should’ve waited.”

Adora HATED it. She knew Catra wasn’t fine, and she hated that no one could see what she sees on her.

“I’m here now, what you wanted to talk?” - She said with a smile

Catra looked up at her eyes, and then down at her hand. She hold it and walked with Adora to a locker room.

The moment they closed the door, Catra started - “Remember that talk we had about kisses?” 

Adora knew exactly what talk she was speaking of.

—  Two weeks ago —

Adora and Catra were walking together on the outside area of the Fright Zone, and saw two guards doing this  _ thing  _ they didn’t know what was.

It was between two men. They kept moving their mouths and touching each other on the face and other parts of their bodies. When they heard someone coming, they immediately stopped the - whatever that was -, and pretended nothing happened.

Catra and Adora got out of there, and Adora was the first to break the silence.

“You think that was a kiss?” - She said when they stopped near a tree. - “Like that one we saw on the simulation?”

That simulation she was taking about, was in a village near the whispering woods, and before they attacked, they could see some “happy” moments between the people that lived there. They saw a  kiss , and they asked what was that to a cadet. 

“I think so” - Catra touched her own mouth. 

“It’s strange, I mean, why do they even do it?”

Adora just made an “i don’t know” sign, and they went back inside.

—  Back to the locker room —

People talk. Adora and Catra knew that. People had “relationships”. They knew that too. Over the years, even they talked those kind of stuff with Loonie, Kyle and Rogelio, hoping one day, they’d get it.

“Yes, what’s with this?” - Adora said laying her back at the wall.

“Well, at the mission today, I saw it again” Catra didn’t look at Adora while she was speaking. “And when that cadet I was with was not looking, because he was talking to some people there, I went to talk with the man and the woman that were kissing”

As Adora was hearing to the story, she thought it wasn’t a good idea, Catra talking to them. She wasn’t supposed to. But now Adora wanted to hear what Catra had to say.

“You... you talked to them? What they said?”

Adora crossed her arms.

“I asked why they did it, and first, they were kinda choked because i didn’t know why...” - She looked at the floor, and then at Adora. “They said you do it when you and the person have feelings for each other, or  _love_ ,  that’s the word they used.” 

Love. They’ve heard about it before. They knew it was a real thing. They just didn’t know how to know if you’re feeling it.

Adora was still quiet, hearing what Catra had to say.

“And then I asked how to know if you love someone” - Catra said.

She seemed shy, Adora thought. But why? 

“And?” - Adora got closer to Catra, because ether she wanting or not, she was curious now.

“They said it’s when... you have like, a stronger feeling on your chest when you are with someone” - She pointed to her own chest. “And that you care about that person and want to be with them”

Adora didn’t say anything for a while, she was thinking. Catra probably know what she was thinking about, because that’s been Catra’s thoughts since she talked with that couple. 

“Catra do you think...” - Adora wasn’t looking at her anymore. “Do you think we love each other?”

That’s it. That’s what has been in Catra’s mind since that talk. She just didn’t know if Adora would wonder what she was wondering. Looks like she would, and she is.

“I don’t know” - Catra moved her tail. “I do care about you though” - She said in a lower voice.

Adora had a little smile on her face. She got even closer. Catra didn’t know what she was doing, and why she wasn’t saying anything. 

“You wanna try it?” - Adora said and touched Catra’s hand. “I mean... kiss” - She looked at her eyes.

There it was. That feeling in her chest. Now she had an idea of what was it.

“Yes” - Catra answered, while she squeezed Adora’s hand. 

Adora took a deep breath. She put her right hand on the back of Catra’s neck, pulling it closer.

Their lips touched. It was strange, they didn’t know what to do. They did remember those two guards they saw once, and how they were doing it.

They started moving their lips, with their eyes closed. Catra put her hand on Adora’s cheek, stroking it.

It felt wet, if felt... gross? Not totally, but it did, in a way. 

Catra was the one who broke the kiss. They still had their foreheads touching.

“This is... different” - Adora said looking at Catra’s eyes. Now she had her hand on her shoulder.

“A good different or a bad different?” - Catra said, playing with some strand of Adora’s hair.

“A good one” - Adora smiled, taking Catra’s hand. “C’mon, we need to go back there”

They did it more times. They liked the feeling. The last time they did it, was one day before Adora left the horde.

— Now —

They’re at Bright Moon. It’s been two weeks since Adora and Bow rescued Catra and Glimmer from Prime’s spaceship.

Adora and Catra haven’t exchange a single word. Adora won’t even look at Catra. She doesn’t think she can look at her now and just forget what happened.

“You need to talk to her, you know?” - Glimmer said, right after teleporting next do Adora.

“No, I don’t” - Adora says not facing glimmer.

“Yes you do! You guys can’t be like this forever” - Glimmer touched Adora’s shoulder, making her turn around. “She misses you, but she won’t admit it”

“How do you even know? I mean, was that time in the spaceship enough? Because now you two seem pretty good friends” - Adora said, in a jealously way? Definitely.

“If you just give it a try Adora” - Glimmer asked her. It’s like the third time this week.

Adora doesn’t say anything, she just leaves.

—

Two days after, Adora was walking on the hallways of the castle. She saw Catra from far away. She was doing nothing, just staring at the view from up there. 

Adora was surprised in how easily Catra made friends there. First was Glimmer, then Bow, and now the other princesses, even though with some of them still not trusting Catra too much.

Then she saw a shadow getting near Catra. She didn’t know what was it, then she came closer.

Shadow Weaver. That woman. Adora didn’t know why she was still in there. Didn’t know how Glimmer trusted her. Didn’t know what she was doing now, talking to Catra.

She understood, for the look on Catra’s face, that she didn’t want that. She was looking down, not at Shadow Weaver. 

Then Adora heard Catra speaking.

“You can’t tell what I can and not do anymore, not here” - Catra said, getting out of there.

Adora was angry. Who could she not be?

After she left the horde, she realized, truly realized, what Shadow Weaver used to do with them. What she used to do with Catra. She realized how bad it was, she never thought about it back in the horde.

Adora followed Catra. She was now at the outside area of the castle, sitting on a bench, looking at the floor. She was wondering if she really should do what she was about to do.

“Catra?” - Adora said in a calm tone, behind the bench. 

Catra froze. It’s been so long since she’s spoken to Adora. Hearing her voice now was strange. She didn’t answer, and Adora came closer, now sitting on the bench.

“What did Shadow Weaver say to you?” Adora stared at her.

Catra didn’t answer at first, she didn’t know why Adora was talking to her. Didn’t know why she wasn’t talking to her ether. 

“Like you care” - She said, squeezing the part of the bench where her hand was.

“I do” - Adora quickly replied.

She was still waiting for the answer, she wasn’t planing on going anywhere till she hears it.

Catra gave a quick look at her eyes and then looked away again. “Just the usual. ‘Catra you won’t be here for so long’ or ‘Catra you’re gonna screw everything up again’.... nothing I haven’t deal with before”

Okay, Adora had her answer, now she could leave, couldn’t she?

“I don’t like her being in here” - Adora said, bringing her knees to her face and hugging her legs.

“Why? I thought you loved her” - Catra crossed her arms.

Love? Is she serious right now? 

“I don’t...” - She took a deep breath. “I just don’t trust her here, with Glimmer, with Bow... with you”

Silence again. Catra didn’t know how to answer to that, so she made the question that was stuck in her throat.

“Why are you talking to me?” - She looked at Adora, who was looking at her knees.

“It was about time huh?” - Adora said giving a little smile to Catra.

Catra didn’t understand at all. Why was she talking to her? Why just now? Why not before?

She didn’t answer, she just kept sitting there.

“Why not before?” - Catra said. Now they were full staring at each other.

“Because I couldn’t look at you before, and not remember everything that happened” 

Catra got up. “Sorry for that”. Than she went inside the castle again.

— That same day, at night —

Catra couldn’t sleep. She made Adora believe that what Shadow Weaver said, was okay to her. But it wasn’t.

She went for a walk, even knowing she could find Shadow Weaver again.  I can deal with her.  She thought. 

She found a good spot at that castle, where she could stare the stars. She always to go there when she can’t sleep. She leaned her body on the edge of a corner of the castle and just looked at the sky.

Catra started to think too much that night. She didn’t know why. Maybe because of Shadow Weaver? Maybe because Adora? She didn’t know. She remembered their days on the horde. The good ones and the bad ones. Then she thought about the portal.  _ Adora is right on not talking to me, especially after everything I did.  _ This was all she could think about. When she least expected it, she was crying.  _ Weak, weak, weak.  _ She stopped at the moment she heard steps.

“Catra?” - Adora was standing behind here. 

“Are you okay? Why are you awake?”

Catra didn’t turn around. She couldn’t let Adora see her crying. She couldn’t let Adora see her like this.

But Adora noticed. She always did. She knew when something was wrong. Then she stepped closer, and put one hand on Catra’s shoulder.

“Please, look at me” - Adora touched her other shoulder and turned her around.

She was looking down. She didn’t want to talk right now, but it didn’t seem like she had a choice.

“Hey... why are you crying?” 

Adora realized she wasn’t going to answer. And that was okay. But she didn’t want her to torture herself that much. At least, not alone.

Adora pulled Catra closer and crossed her arms around her, giving her a hug. 

They didn’t say anything. And it took Catra some seconds so hug her back. When she did, she let out a long sigh, and started to cry again. Adora squeezed her harder and didn’t let go of her.

Some minutes had passed till Catra could finally look at Adora.

“I’m sorry” - Catra said. They were close, really close now. 

Adora touched Catra’s cheek with one of her hands. Catra had already gave in to the blondie’s touch now.

“It’s okay” - Adora said touching their foreheads. “It’s gonna be okay”

Catra felt Adora intertwining their fingers with her other hand. She had that face of someone who wants to say something, but just don’t.

Adora took another deep breath and spoke. 

“Sleep in my room today” 

Catra wasn’t sure if this was the best thing to do. They had start to talk for what? One day?

But she couldn’t say no, it was Adora there. It was Adora who was guiding here to her room. It was Adora that lay with her in the bad. It was Adora.

— The next morning —

Adora woke up first. Things were going too fast, she knew it, but she couldn’t avoid it.

When she woke up, she was face to face with Catra. Just like how they used to do as kids. She touched the back of Catra’s ear and started to pet it.

She felt Catra moving her head. She knew it was a sensitive spot for her. And then Catra opened her tired eyes.

“Hey” - Adora smiled at her.

Catra remembered why she was there with Adora. It all came at once.

“Hi” - She said, looking at Adora’s hand, and then her eyes. “Thanks for....this” - She wasn’t talking about just the sleeping part, it was everything.

Adora continued to pet her ear. “Are you better?” - She said, looking at every single one of Catra’s freckles.

“I am” - Catra said in a calm tone.

They passed some minutes like this. Catra could see Adora was trying to come up with something. She just didn’t now exactly what was it.

Adora looked at her eyes, then at the wall behind her. “Sorry for taking so long to talk to you”

Catra didn’t blame her. Not at all. She had all the right to treat her like that.

“I was so angry at me because I... I couldn’t forgive you, Catra” - Adora looked at her with sad eyes. “And I don’t think I’ll ever do.”

Adora bit her bottom lips and continued.

“But I can’t be mad at you. I just...I can’t” 

Catra put her hand on Adora’s cheek. She tried to speak gently and calmly. Like if her life depended on that. She loved Adora, she didn’t want to screw everything up again, not now.

“Adora” - She said and caught Adora’s gaze. Who was paying full attention on her eyes. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Adora didn’t use words. She just looked at Catra’s mouth and nodded.

And then, there they were. Kissing again. It felt  _ so _ good. They had forgotten how the other tasted like. They spent some minutes like this. Kissing and touching each other, on the neck, on the hair, on the cheeks, on the hand. 

Adora broke the kiss. Not to breath, but to look at Catra and say “I missed you”

Catra kisses her again, and she answered, smiling, between the kiss. “I missed you too”

**Author's Note:**

> Hii, this is like, my first fic ever, so i’m not expecting much here, it’s kind of a training, lol.
> 
> If anyone actually reads this, feel free to follow my twitter. @catrasmile


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